“Smells Like GAHbage the Jacuzzi”

◊

Long ago, in a galaxy far away, I installed custom spas.

One of these was in a condominium basement where space for the equipment was at a premium. So we mounted the air blower (you know, the thing that makes the water fizz like a carbonated cola) on the wall in the adjacent underground garage.

Not long after the tenants began moving in, an old woman, who bore a striking resemblance to Yoda in both appearance and syntax, complained, “smells like GAHbage the jacuzzi.”

We had unknowingly mounted the blower directly above what turned out to be the location of the building’s dumpsters. It was sucking in the not-so-fragrant aroma wafting up from all manner of refuse residing below, infusing the spa with its essence.

Now, you don’t have to hail from another planet to know that water can carry contaminants. Just ask any parent who has placed her young child in the neighborhood swimming pool. That yellow water ain’t lemonade, folks.

Well, maybe it was at one time.

Transporting contaminants is one thing; but can water create them as well? What happens when you add water, a “natural” substance, to “natural” shampoos, called such because they contain, among other things, no preservatives?

“Natural” Water + “Natural” Shampoo = Contaminated Product

Eventually, that is.

Nature is the original recycler. Simply stated, water contains bacteria. Bacteria feed on plant and animal matter. It’s one of nature’s ways of breaking matter down to its primary components.

At the basic, molecular level all living things are recycled. Thus, when any living thing dies, including our bodies, the molecules of minerals and other elements that comprise it are gradually deconstructed through decomposition, to eventually become reconstructed as a part of some other living thing, plant or animal.

All shampoos (and conditioners) contain some form of plant matter; some even use animal protein. Add water, and the bacteria, like swarms of ravenous piranha, begin their feeding frenzy; the decomposition begins.

By the way, foreign matter, like dirt and hair, also carries those hungry little buggers, and when introduced into undiluted shampoo can likewise cause contamination.

Some shampoo manufacturers add a preservative, a natural or synthetic chemical that prevents bacterial spoilage. Unfortunately, many preservatives release formaldehyde, that fluid of funerial fame, which, incidentally, is used as a preservative to prevent bacterial spoilage of the human body.

Thus, while an unopened jug of “natural” shampoo may have a 3-4 year shelf life, when mixed with water it may only last 3-4 days, at best.

How can you tell when something has gone bad? The nose knows. Odor is a byproduct of decomposition. When the shampoo begins to smell like GAHbage or the conditioner reminds you of Jaba the Hutt’s breath just discard it.

The best adage is “when in doubt, throw it out.” No use risking a bad reaction from your bather or the bathee just to save a few pennies worth of product.

Message in the Bottle

While there is much controversy over what may or may not leach out of plastic containers, plastic’s porosity means substances, like bacteria, can also be absorbed into the containers.

Bacteria can thrive in virtually any container under the right conditions.

Just ask Cody, who works in our warehouse. This past summer he left a large cup of a “natural” fruit smoothie in the office refrigerator over a weekend. The following Monday, seeking a refreshing respite from the sweltering heat, he slugged down a swig of the leftover nectar, only to notice a peculiar taste sensation.

Removing the lid to the cup he discovered that the surface of the drink had errupted into a putrid carpet of furry foam that was creeping up the outside of the straw like some alien life form.

Now, you probably don’t refrigerate your shampoo. But, if you have been careful to avoid spoilage, yet continually contend with contamination, the container could be the culprit. This can be especially troublesome to self-serve dog washes, where plastic bottles are repeatedly refilled with mixed shampoo.

Many helpful sites on the internet, such as eHow.com or howtocleanstuff.net (yes, a real web site), offer effective cleaning tips for plastic containers. Bleach, baking soda, and white vinegar are some of the more commonly recommended methods.

Of course, there comes the time in every plastic bottle’s life when you just have to apply the “when in doubt” rule mentioned earlier.

Plastic bottles are not immortal.

Neither are natural shampoos. Following a few simple safeguards, though, can help prevent irritated pets and irate customers.

You certainly don’t want  an angry Ms. Yoda on your hands, do you?

◊

◊

About the Author: Randy Pate, Marketing Director of WAGS, although not a micro-biologist, is no stranger to odor. He showers almost regularly, mostly at the insistence of his wife.

◊

Advertisement